


Hidden Pleasures

by Interrobang



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Firbolg Anatomy, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sheath Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:06:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22341508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Interrobang/pseuds/Interrobang
Summary: Caleb has some questions about firbolg anatomy. Caduceus gives a practical demonstration.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 3
Kudos: 275





	Hidden Pleasures

**Author's Note:**

> it's literally just porn, written in one sitting because I was overwhelmingly thirsty

Caduceus was taking his tea on the tower roof, quietly breathing in the night air, when the silence was interrupted by the door creaking open and Caleb’s head popping through. The wizard looked tired, perhaps a little manic, but it was no more concerning than his usual state. What was most interesting, however were the questions he asked.

“Caduceus, I’ve been trying to learn a bit more about firbolg culture; perhaps you could help me with a couple questions I have been ruminating on?” 

Caleb looked hesitant as he asked it, but Caduceus was used to this kind of facade from the wizard. Caleb would often present a front of timidity (quite different from his body language when he was truly nervous), as if he was not burning for answers on the inside. Only his eyes gave him away: a fiery flash among the icy blue, of a star burning, of magic sparking.

Caduceus sat back in his pile of pillows under the great tree on the roof of what he had come to think of as his tower. “Of course, Mister Caleb. What did you want to know?” 

“I have read...certain texts,” Caleb started, nervously tucking a stray lock of hair behind one ear. “They speak of tightly knit communities, often insulated from the outside for generations at a time. Is there much truth to that?”

“A bit,” Caduceus allowed as he settled a bit more. He sipped at the mug of tea in his hands, and indicated with a gesture that Caleb should help himself to the rest of the pot sitting nearby. “We’re not much interested in the outside world, most of the time. As far as I’m aware, our clans often stay isolated far out in nature, so we don’t mix much.”

“Then...” Caleb took a deep breath. “What of the bloodlines?”

“Bloodlines?” Caduceus raised an eyebrow. “What about them?”

“Don’t they get...muddled?” Caleb looked almost unsure of himself, but Caduceus knew better; Caleb had probably researched this as far as he could, and had only come to Caduceus for clarification. “Being isolated for so long. The books said for hundreds of years, sometimes.”

“Well,” Caduceus said slowly. “It’s not usually a problem. We _live_ for hundreds of years, so in the long run, it doesn’t really become an issue...and most of us mate for life, so there’s not much confusion about parentage, if that’s what you’re asking about.”

“There are no problems with...intermingling?”

“Incest?” Caduceus wrinkled his nose at the idea. “No. If we can’t find a suitable partner from people readily available, we travel to join other clans, or set out into the world to start our own.”

“I see.” Caleb tucked the same strand of hair, fallen, back behind his ear once more before sipping at his cup. “And…” He paused for much longer this time. 

Caduceus waited as patiently as he could, but when Caleb did not speak after several more minutes, he prompted, “And? What else did you want to know?”

“Well,” Caleb all but huffed, his cheek turning pink. “There were some notes about...anatomy. Physical changes.”

“What sort of book were you reading, Mister Caleb?” Caduceus mused with a wry smile. 

“A natural history book,” Caleb assured him, his cheeks pinkening further. “But there were _notes._ About firbolg bodies.”

“Mmm, I’m sure. As there are many such texts about other organisms, so that we may better understand the physiology of our peers.”

“This one was specifically about giant-kin, and their sexual dimorphism. The females are typically more robust, while the males…”

“Are homemakers and child-rearers, yes, I’ve heard all of this from many sources. Are you here to process what you’ve read, or to ask questions, Mister Caleb?”

“To ask a question,” Caleb huffed. He sipped his tea, hissing at the heat that Caduceus found only merely pleasant. “Is it true you have no external genitalia?” 

Caduceus paused, cup halfway to his lips. 

“I wouldn’t say it so calculatedly, but...in a way, I suppose. My body is built to protect itself from both the elements and attack.”  
  


“With...a sheath?” Caleb asked, barely daring to meet Caduceus’s eyes at this point. 

“Yeah,” Caduceus replied with a laugh. “Now, Caleb, I know you; you wouldn’t ask about this if you weren’t direly curious. Did you want to see?”

Caleb nodded stiffly, not meeting Caduceus’s eyes. 

“Well, that’s easy to do,” Caduceus said amiably. He set his tea aside, stretching his legs out so he could shift around and hitch his pants down a little bit lower, just under his waist. They were already baggy, comfortable house clothes rather than something more robust for travel. It wasn’t like there was a need for many layers around the house. 

He shuffled to his knees, letting his pants drop loose around them, and gestured at his waist.

“There you go,” he said with a gesture, waving his hand at his mostly smooth belly. He was still a little skinny, despite the regular meals with friends, but he thought he made a nice picture nonetheless; and if Caleb’s reaction was anything to go by, he was doing well in putting on a bit of weight.

“I-- ah-- _ja_ , okay, thank you,” Caleb muttered, eyes flickering nervously back and forth between Caduceus’s waist and his cooling cup of tea. 

“You didn’t want to explore further?” Caduceus prompted. “You probably can’t see much with all my stomach fluff in the way.”

“ _Ja_ , Mister Clay you are quite-- ha!-- fluffy,” Caleb said with a nervous titter. “Much more than expected, to be honest.”

“Oh?”

“ _Ja_ , yes, you are skinny, and most of you is finely groomed...but not here, I see,” Caleb said with another chuckle, tentatively tangling his fingers into the pinkish grey fur along Caduceus’s stomach. Caduceus fought a laugh, instead pushing against the fingers, encouraging Caleb to explore more. “Very soft.”

“Mmm, yeah, my sister used to call me fluff-butt when she was annoyed with me,” Caduceus murmured, practically purring as Caleb’s fingers combed across his stomach fur. 

“How cute.” Caleb’s laugh was genuine this time. His hands pet down further, not at all shy in their exploration. “So how do firbolgs mate, if everything is internal? Is there etiquette I am violating?”

“I-- ah--” Caduceus shivered as Caleb’s fingers carded through the tangle of pink curls around his groin. “Some, but I don’t mind.”

“What am I doing wrong?” Caleb murmured, kneeling so that he was eye level with his hands. He carded more firmly though Caduceus’s curls now , scratching with his blunt human fingers just hard enough to make Caduceus shiver. 

“Usually we-- oh!-- at least kiss before this phase,” Caduceus admitted shyly. “Though there’s a bit more to it than that.”

“Oh? I can fix that,” Caleb said with a smile. He leaned up, tilting his head to meet Caduceus’s soft lips, barely pecking a kiss to them. “Is there anything else I should do?”

“Anything you like, really,” Caduceus all but sighed, sagging against the human. “I think I might enjoy this more than I’d originally anticipated.”

“And how much did you anticipate to start with?” Caleb asked, licking his lips. His hands returned to their wandering, rubbing up against the bulge at the apex of Caduceus’s thighs, the soft sheath hiding anything internal. 

“Maybe more kissing...me touching you, at least,” Caduceus admitted, groaning as Caleb squeezed his sheath. 

“Then touch me,” Caleb said with a shy smile. He grabbed Caduceus’s balled fists from their stiff position by his waist, moving them to wrap around the human’s waist. Caduceus grabbed a handful of his read and gasped, pulling him closer, groaning against when the movement startled Caleb into gripping the soft skin of his sheath.

“We’re sensitive there,” Caduceus reminded him. “It’s, uh, internal, but it...it comes out if you treat it right.”

“Oh?” Caleb sounded faintly amused, and intensely interested. His eyes flickered back and forth between his hand and Caduceus’s face. “You are going to let me see your cock?”

“I want you to see it,” Caduceus groaned, rolling his hips against his partner. “Knowing you, you’ve studied diagrams for hours… been excited for longer than that. What were you thinking about during all that study, eh, Caleb?”

“How much I wanted this,” Caleb admitted. He leaned in and sucked a kiss to Caduceus’s neck, dragging his teeth along the soft skin of his throat. “I’ve been thinking about it for too long. Too many hours lost in study, thinking of you in place of the generic model…” he sighed, and bit down on Caduceus’s throat, groaning when it made the firbolg twitch against his hands. 

“Touch my sheath, Caleb-- but softly,” Caduceus warned, still cautious. “Be gentle...it’s slow...I’m not like a human, we don’t-- we don’t move quickly.”

“Live to five hundred years, mature at eighty… that’s to be expected, I suppose,” Caleb muttered, gripping the soft fur of Caduceus’s sheath with one hand. “Let me loose, love, I need to see better. I want to put my mouth on you.”

Caduceus sighed and let go, giving Caleb just enough room that he could back up and ease himself down so his face was level with the firbolg’s groin. 

“I’m going to get shy again if you only stare,” Caduceus warned him.

“I won’t,” Caleb assured him, petting with one hand. He eyed the furry sheath with a calculating look, as if doing the math on just how much pressure he would have to apply to drive Caduceus wild. “What does it take to draw you out, I wonder?” 

“Not much,” Caduceus nearly whined. He sighed and moaned as Caleb leaned forward, nuzzling his stomach, nosing at his sheath. The fur there was especially soft, short and fuzzy and viciously curly, sweat-damp under his cheek. The skin under it was even more sensitive than the rest of him. Every nerve sang when Caleb touched him. 

“What do I have to do to...?” Caleb mused, nuzzling at the firbolg’s stomach. 

“Not more than that,” Caduceus gasped. “Use your tongue, and I might not make it.”

Inspired, Caleb licked at the soft opening of Caduceus’s sheath, prodding the wet opening with his small human tongue. Caduceus sighed and shifted, his hip rolling under Caleb’s hold. 

“Oh!” Caduceus moaned as Caleb nibbled bluntly at the skin of his sheath, digging his tongue into the opening. “What-- ha!-- what is this like for you? Must be different,” Caduceus prompted.

“Very,” Caleb said with a slight chuckle. He pressed a kiss to Caduceus’s hip before mouthing at the opening of his sheath again. “We humans tend to put everything on display, so this is...oddly enchanting.” 

Caduceus flushed further, moaning against when Caleb’s tongue dipped into and then swirled around his wet sheath. 

“This might get messy,” Caduceus warned him. “Unless that’s what you wanted?”

“I think you knew what I wanted the moment i brought it up,” Caleb said boldly-- perhaps more boldly than he felt, given his body language. He still hunched in place, plastered against Caduceus like he thought he would be rejected at at any moment. 

“I did and I-- ngh, Caleb-- I _like_ it,” Caduceus told him. “Touch me, or don’t, but don’t start and stop halfway through.”

Caleb gripped his sheath again, coaxing the hard length inside it to slip ever upward. He dug his tongue into the opening of Caduceus’s sheath, humming when he felt the hard tip of Caduceus’s cock finally bump up against it. The salty, bitter heat of it against his tongue was heavenly, nudging ever further out the more he worried against it. 

“Oh...” Caduceus sighed and leaned back in his seat, groaning when Caleb climbed over him, still tonguing at his sheath like it was the only thing he needed in the world. 

“A little more,” Caleb mused, sucking on the thin skin at the mouth of the sheath. His hand rubbed and coaxed Caduceus’s cock inside the hot flap of skin, urging it outward. When the pink head of it finally tipped outwards, warm and slick, he groaned and ducked forward, lips sealing around the tip.

Caduceus immediately jumped, hips twitching under the wizard’s hands. He bit his lip and buried one hand in Caleb’s hair, needing to ground himself. When Caleb did not move away, his grip tightened, holding on for dear life as the human suckled at the tip of his cock, easing it out with the sweet heat of his mouth, his tongue massaging the underside like all he needed was something to fill his throat. He hummed as he slurped around the emerging length, sighing at each new centimeter that revealed itself.

“Quite long, aren’t you?” Caleb mused as he backed off for a moment, eyeing the the heat-flushed length of Caduceus’s arousal.

“Average for my height,” Caduceus assured him, flushing despite himself. “It just looks bigger because of the sheath.”

“I’m not complaining,” Caleb assured him. “Quite the opposite, in fact.” He hummed and ducked down again to suck the wet length into his mouth, sinking down until he could feel the heft of it in his throat, pressing against the roof of his mouth. 

“Is it what you expected?” Caduceus asked.

Caleb pulled off slowly, his cheeks hollow, eyes closed as if in prayer. “Better,” he murmured reverentially. Pressing a kiss to the base of his cock, he gripped Caduceus’s length and dug his tongue into the slit, wiggling the tip of it against the sensitive underside of cock head.

“Caleb-- oh-- uh--” Caduceus writhed under his touch, shuddering when one of Caleb’s hands wandered lower, cupping his hairy balls and squeezing the plump heat of them gently. 

Caduceus groaned and tightened his hand in Caleb’s hair, trying his hardest not to tug, but still needing contact. Each time he pulled, Caleb shuddered and groaned quietly, humming against Caduceus’s cock.

“Do you like it when I pull your hair?” Caduceus asked, genuinely curious. 

“It’s nice,” Caleb admitted. “Feels...good..” he moaned when Caduceus did it again, pulling harder this time, tugging him down against his cock. Caleb moaned and sucked his cock into his mouth again, going deeper and deeper with each swallow, until finally his throat was full, gag reflex nowhere to be seen as he all but inhaled the thick length. 

Caduceus moaned and sighed, whining when Caleb swallowed around him, throat tightening.The pressure was intense, wet and searingly hot against his sensitive skin. He knew his end was approaching, the coil of it in his hips like an inevitable fuse, burning ever shorter. He groaned as Caleb sucked, his cheeks hollowed as he bobbed up and down over the length in his mouth, sloppily licking each trail of spit left behind, swallowing every drop of precome he could coax out of the cock in his grasp. 

When Caduceus came, it was with a long sigh, a shuddering release as rope after wet rope of come spurted out of his cock, coating the human’s chin and cheeks, falling across his lax mouth. Caleb’s eyes looked glazed over, happy just to be in place to witness it.

When it was finally over, his soft cock retreating back into its sheath, Caduceus sighed and stretched, gripping Caleb's shoulders and tugging the human up to tangle his body with his own. He kissed Caleb soundly despite the mess, pressing his lips to cheek, forehead, mouth, neck, anywhere he could reach, laughing giddily when Caleb only shivered in return.

“Enough learning for one night?” Caduceus asked cheekily. He let one hand sneak down to cup a hip, squeezing one ass cheek in his large hand. 

“Perhaps,” Caleb hedged, though he laughed hoarsely at the comment. “I’m afraid my boner is in the way of my brain at the moment.” 

Let me deal with that,” Caduceus sighed. He chuckled, pressing another kiss to Caleb’s mouth before cupping his erection through his trousers. He fumbled blindly with the fastenings of the wizard’s trousers, but was rewarded in the end with handfuls of hot skin against his fingers. He stroked a handful of times, grabbing Caleb’s hips with his other hand and encouraging Caleb to rut against him. 

Caleb moaned and rolled his hips, driving himself towards orgasm with each rock of his body, each press of his cock against Caduceus’s thigh. When Caduceus bit his lip and pulled the human against himself, Caleb finally shuddered, spilling in a series of spurts against the soft fur of his leg, collapsing in his arms not long after. 

They lay there in a half-dressed tangle for several minutes, breathing hard, before they were overcome with great, uneven bouts of laughter. 

“Enough education for you”” Caduceus asked shakily, hitching his pants up just enough to imitate modesty. 

“Perhaps,” Caleb allowed, his face flush and mouth curled in a satisfied smile. He wiped a globule of cum off his chin. “But I think I may require further instruction.”

“Maybe another night,” Caduceus allowed. “This professor needs his sleep.”  
  


“Of course, Herr Clay,” Caleb said mock-deferentially. “But may I make one suggestion?”

“Yeah, of course,” Caduceus encouraged.

“More kisses next time. You are exceptionally good at those.” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Caduceus said with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this and want to see more of what I'm doing, head over to twitter.com/GoInterrobang to see what I'm working on. Sometimes I post polls to help decide what I should write next! That's how this one got written!


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